This was a powerful letter, especially the way you connected your mother’s grief to your own experience later in life; it makes the reality of loss feel very personal and real. How did writing this letter change the way you think about death now compared to when you were younger?
Thanks, Jonathan. I suppose it happens to everyone, and I understand that now. Somehow that makes it more natural and less terrifying. Though it's still awful for the living - the people who loved the person who died.
Thank you for sharing this Patty. This is a great reflection prompt to think about. I see you lost 35 classmates on Flight 103 on 9/11. I lost 3 co-workers that day.
I’m sorry, Susan, how sad. Those two tragedies still break my heart. Each year, they fade more and more, but at the time, they rocked my world. We were more innocent then.
I miss those days. I feel bad that my kids will never know them. I just told someone that my happiest memory was wearing my Pretty in Pink outfit, zinc pink lipstick, and drinking a Bartle and James! (I'm probably older than you!)
Nope, I remember those days, Bartle and James, the best. You're right those days are hard to explain to the generation today. They just don't get it. They can't even imagine it!
Beautifully written, Patty. Wow. The sculptures are heartbreaking. Also, I am so sorry you’re so familiar with death. It’s a sneaky, relentless thorn. Inevitable, but unwelcome nonetheless. You’ve captured your experiences so poetically. Thank you for sharing. 🤍
Hello. Thank you so much for writing that. At first I didn't understand it, then it terrified me, and now I think I'm beginning to understand that it really and truly happens to everyone, sooner or later, so maybe it's not as scary as I thought. Life is funny.
The thing I always think about is that death is inevitable for us all, it’s just that we never know when it will be. I tell myself every day to make the most of every single second, as you never know when it will be your last 🌹
Hi Michelle, thank you. I used to think I was so lucky - too lucky! I was right. But I’m still “luckier” than many other people I know. Thank you for reading it, Michelle!
Will I ever be comfortable with death? It is incredible how we long for so many things to be permanent except the end of a life. I work on easing the fear of loss. I practice every day devotedly. My fear is not visible. I played it pretty cool when I lost my grandparents, my stepdad, my in-laws. I think part of me still pretends that they are on a long vacation... as I miss them. And then my nephew, 14 years old was taken. And everyone bombed upon. Dying is natural, except when it isn’t.
And I really do not obsess about it. We all die. And isn’t it about how we live? This is more important. Even though... the fear is always more about how we will die. Me, like you, peacefully I hope for my loved ones, for myself. And not alone. And a great celebration of life afterwards.
I really don't think about it much, except when something reminds me like last year, when I thought my husband was dying. His father was dying that morning, and he was so exhausted from taking care of him. I tried to wake him and he wouldn't wake up. And he didn't, dead-like for 24 hours and me by his side praying for him to live and not leave me. He woke up eventually. Eventually, he was okay again. But from then on, I check on him as he sleeps. Make sure he is breathing. Even now as I write to you, I am comforted by his breath. I don't want him to die. Or anyone else. Tomorrow morning I will practice some more so maybe I will be a little less scared. Hugging you Patty. Thank you for sharing this space. xo
This is beautiful. You know, my friend died in a car crash decades ago, and I STILL worry whenever anyone I love is late. These things settle into our bones.
But the idea of a long vacation. How lovely is that? I have to think more about that. It would be a huge and very welcome mind shift for me. 💕💕💕
Patty, in general, I have never been a worrier. Not even when my daughters were little, not even now when they are out late, but after the experience with my husband and losing 3 parents, an aunt, and my nephew in 4 years, the reality of death has come up and close. I suppose this is why I am putting all my energy towards love and attention. And this is a good thing. But even too much of good become a cause of stress, anxiety, worry - like never feeling like you are giving enough or obsessing over it because deep down, fear of ‘the end’ is your motivation. Our motivation needs to be the beauty of love and attention - what we give and not what may or may not be taken from us. It is truly a daily practice of bringing ourselves back to balance through gratitude, acceptance, humility and patience with ourselves, and of course, more and more love. Every day for me because otherwise, I worry that as I age I will become a worrier. 😅🤣. Returning to the present moment and nurturing it is the most we can do for our lives and our loved ones. Sending you a huge squeeze. Love getting to know you more. 💕
As someone who lost a friend on Sept. 11, 2001, which happened not so far from my home in Long Island, I still think about it very often. God bless Patty.
Stunning. Sad. While I was reading, I had a beautiful violin version of “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” start playing through my house on the “piano relax” Amazon playlist I chose this morning. My eyes welled and I thought the way you ended the piece was perfect. Death is here. Never far away. That’s the truth. Fearing it serves no purpose really. I am working on this myself, Patty. Love your writing.
Thank you, Gayle. I’m working on it because I think it would so much improve the quality of my life not to be so afraid of it. Sad about it? Well, that’s another thing. Thank you again, Gayle.
One of my biggest fears is losing my loved ones, this really touched me. Beautifully written Patty.
Thank you so much. imi! I'm so excited it's going to be in your latest fabulous collection!
Thank you for sharing this, Patty. Very powerful.
Death is cruel and ruthless, and it breaks us wide open. This was tenderly written, Patty.
❤️❤️
Thank you so much, Rea. 💕💕💕
This is difficult and precious all at the same time. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading it!
This is so powerful.
Thank you, Pamela.
This was a powerful letter, especially the way you connected your mother’s grief to your own experience later in life; it makes the reality of loss feel very personal and real. How did writing this letter change the way you think about death now compared to when you were younger?
Thanks, Jonathan. I suppose it happens to everyone, and I understand that now. Somehow that makes it more natural and less terrifying. Though it's still awful for the living - the people who loved the person who died.
Yeah, it definitely hits the people left behind the hardest.
Thank you for sharing this Patty. This is a great reflection prompt to think about. I see you lost 35 classmates on Flight 103 on 9/11. I lost 3 co-workers that day.
I’m sorry, Susan, how sad. Those two tragedies still break my heart. Each year, they fade more and more, but at the time, they rocked my world. We were more innocent then.
"We were more innocent then," boy, that's the truth!
I miss those days. I feel bad that my kids will never know them. I just told someone that my happiest memory was wearing my Pretty in Pink outfit, zinc pink lipstick, and drinking a Bartle and James! (I'm probably older than you!)
Nope, I remember those days, Bartle and James, the best. You're right those days are hard to explain to the generation today. They just don't get it. They can't even imagine it!
Beautifully written, Patty. Wow. The sculptures are heartbreaking. Also, I am so sorry you’re so familiar with death. It’s a sneaky, relentless thorn. Inevitable, but unwelcome nonetheless. You’ve captured your experiences so poetically. Thank you for sharing. 🤍
Thank you, Lacie. It was a good exercise, getting this all down.
Happy Saturday. Have a great weekend!
This was one of the most powerful things I’ve read in a while. I have so much to say but I need to sit with it for a bit. Great post.
Hello. Thank you so much for writing that. At first I didn't understand it, then it terrified me, and now I think I'm beginning to understand that it really and truly happens to everyone, sooner or later, so maybe it's not as scary as I thought. Life is funny.
The thing I always think about is that death is inevitable for us all, it’s just that we never know when it will be. I tell myself every day to make the most of every single second, as you never know when it will be your last 🌹
Absolutely. I feel like I should have added that. Now I literally wake up every morning and remind myself of this!
It’s a good morning ritual alongside meditation 🌹
This one gave me goosies! Thanks for writing, Patty. You had more than your fair share.
Hi Michelle, thank you. I used to think I was so lucky - too lucky! I was right. But I’m still “luckier” than many other people I know. Thank you for reading it, Michelle!
Will I ever be comfortable with death? It is incredible how we long for so many things to be permanent except the end of a life. I work on easing the fear of loss. I practice every day devotedly. My fear is not visible. I played it pretty cool when I lost my grandparents, my stepdad, my in-laws. I think part of me still pretends that they are on a long vacation... as I miss them. And then my nephew, 14 years old was taken. And everyone bombed upon. Dying is natural, except when it isn’t.
And I really do not obsess about it. We all die. And isn’t it about how we live? This is more important. Even though... the fear is always more about how we will die. Me, like you, peacefully I hope for my loved ones, for myself. And not alone. And a great celebration of life afterwards.
I really don't think about it much, except when something reminds me like last year, when I thought my husband was dying. His father was dying that morning, and he was so exhausted from taking care of him. I tried to wake him and he wouldn't wake up. And he didn't, dead-like for 24 hours and me by his side praying for him to live and not leave me. He woke up eventually. Eventually, he was okay again. But from then on, I check on him as he sleeps. Make sure he is breathing. Even now as I write to you, I am comforted by his breath. I don't want him to die. Or anyone else. Tomorrow morning I will practice some more so maybe I will be a little less scared. Hugging you Patty. Thank you for sharing this space. xo
This is beautiful. You know, my friend died in a car crash decades ago, and I STILL worry whenever anyone I love is late. These things settle into our bones.
But the idea of a long vacation. How lovely is that? I have to think more about that. It would be a huge and very welcome mind shift for me. 💕💕💕
Patty, in general, I have never been a worrier. Not even when my daughters were little, not even now when they are out late, but after the experience with my husband and losing 3 parents, an aunt, and my nephew in 4 years, the reality of death has come up and close. I suppose this is why I am putting all my energy towards love and attention. And this is a good thing. But even too much of good become a cause of stress, anxiety, worry - like never feeling like you are giving enough or obsessing over it because deep down, fear of ‘the end’ is your motivation. Our motivation needs to be the beauty of love and attention - what we give and not what may or may not be taken from us. It is truly a daily practice of bringing ourselves back to balance through gratitude, acceptance, humility and patience with ourselves, and of course, more and more love. Every day for me because otherwise, I worry that as I age I will become a worrier. 😅🤣. Returning to the present moment and nurturing it is the most we can do for our lives and our loved ones. Sending you a huge squeeze. Love getting to know you more. 💕
As someone who lost a friend on Sept. 11, 2001, which happened not so far from my home in Long Island, I still think about it very often. God bless Patty.
Oh, the Long Island connection again. That was a terrible day for New Yorkers. I’m sorry you lost a friend.
Thank you Patty.
Stunning. Sad. While I was reading, I had a beautiful violin version of “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” start playing through my house on the “piano relax” Amazon playlist I chose this morning. My eyes welled and I thought the way you ended the piece was perfect. Death is here. Never far away. That’s the truth. Fearing it serves no purpose really. I am working on this myself, Patty. Love your writing.
Thank you, Gayle. I’m working on it because I think it would so much improve the quality of my life not to be so afraid of it. Sad about it? Well, that’s another thing. Thank you again, Gayle.
Poignant as always. 🙏
Thank you - heading over to see your latest!
Well, I usually write when I'm feeling cranky at work, so I think a slower place might be healthier!
I need to keep up with you in terms of material produced and published! You inspire me!